The year in retrospect

I feel i have the best ideas when i lack pen and paper. My mind works in mysterious ways like that. At times i can be so imaginative but when i actually want to sit down and completely express my feelings my mind goes completely blank and that is when the curse of writers block sets in.

This past year has been quite a roller coaster to say the least and to my surprise it is quickly coming to a close. But i am thankful for this last year despite the bad. I am thankful for this years fortunes as well as misfortunes. I have learned a great deal since the dawn of 2009. I have noticed quite a bit about people including my personal friends family members coworkers etc. This year has taught me that people are usually not who they say they are. we all hide behind masks and these masks conceal our secrets. I noticed though there tends to be a universal secret among humans....a secret that some are more open with than others, an ugly secret, one that we all try to conceal at least somewhat. I'm going to let you in on my acquired knowledge...people only give a fuck about themselves...what they can acquire, who they can persuade to do things for them...but the worse is the fact that most people do not give a shit about the impression they leave on another persons feelings.

I myself am not innocent of this crime. I try my hardest to be selfless. I try to give all that i can asking for little to nothing in return. I try to be the nicest person possible and to think of others before my self because as the say," Kama's a bitch". Despite my efforts though deep inside me there is still that burning question...What is in it for me? If this part of me weren't present would i be human? Selfishness seems somewhat like human nature to me. Like Something that no one can escape. I have this defense mechanism that comes in handy for most aspects of my life this part included. Trust NO ONE! - The sooner you realize the people you think you know are not always who they pretend to be the sooner you will remove the mask and show your true colors.